my amazing friend

my amazing friend, chris, just got done competing in the OLYMPIC TRIALS 2008 in eugene, OR...yeah...we're talking the big deal televised legit thing that leads to THE GAMES IN BEIJING...whoa...i can't believe i know someone who's kind of a big deal but in light of that rare fact, i've decided to highlight his accomplishments!!

today was the final day of competition for the decathlon (the hardest event, in my opinion, because you have to train for 10 events!!) and chris is officially on the record as the 10th best decathlete in ALL OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...yep...that's kind of a big deal. here's a few pictures i stole from the official site-my friend is a rockstar!GREAT JOB, CHRIS!!! (gold- because you have a gold medal from us, your friends :D)

Hiking @ Little Si

this past weekend a few friends and i blew out of town, east about 40 minutes, to climb Little Si-we had a PERFECT day for it!

Mt. Rainier (which we'll have to save for another hike) was out-i see it often and i'm in awe every single time

carmates

the group: me, jenny, robyn, tara, jason

jenny was obsessed with seeing a bobcat-this is her impression

so happy to be in nature and hiking!

seriously? how could you not love this???

friendly caterpillar we found along the way :D

can you find the rock climbers??
cool stream-felt so good.

ha! silly in the woods

stopped in north bend to get old fashioned milkshakes and fries! yum

a few more from the other night

we heart africa!!

tightrope

it's hard to think of how to exactly verbalize the absolute dichotomy stirring inside-i feel as though i'm in the middle of a tight-rope, between the platform i've left and the one i'm walking towards.

the platform i've left behind represents so many things: the carefree 'good old days' when i was still in school, the newness of my first job, the thrill of starting my life as a young professional, aspirations of a clear, dynamic career path and life goals.

all those things i've just described are normal, expected and ambition-filled dreams. wow. i still have those but i was such a different person a year and a half ago. different doesn't mean bad. i don't think of who i was then and who i am now as right and wrong. there's just a lot of life that's happened in between.

the platform i'm walking towards represents ???--for once i'm at a loss for words. a total loss. i have absolutely no idea what that platform represents. none. i've pursued a lot of things in the last 6 months that i thought it was supposed to be. i genuinely felt led by the Lord towards all those different areas. but doors are shut in all directions. i am suspended.

last night, i was walking around Greenlake with a friend getting caught up on life. she and i have both had some really moving months in the last year and that walk around the lake created space for us to recap, reminisce, philosophize and verbally formulate tangible answers to some of the looming questions. powerful. there are so many questions still unanswered. so many. but strangely enough, i'm OK with that. this weird and blessed peace is slipping through cracks and weasling it's way into the crevasses.

as i spoke of being totally mystified with the Lord's purpose of leading me down those roads and then shutting the doors, my friend gently chimed in with "well, at least you have an answer. it may not be the one you wanted but you're not sitting around waiting. it is 'no' for now." so simple and yet somehow so profound for me. we've all heard the phrase, "life is about the journey, not the destination"--those roads that 'dead-ended' weren't at all about each of the careers i anticipated were waiting at the end for me.

down each of those roads, i learned more about perseverance, honesty, frustration, disillusionment, selfishness, emptiness, displacement and ultimately brokenness.

that word makes me feel bi-polar because 1/2 of me wants to fly into the wild blue yonder as far away from it as i can get. the other 1/2 wants to sprint towards it until my lungs are heaving and my legs turn to spaghetti causing me to collapse from utter exhaustion.

it is only through brokenness that we become acutely aware of our need for a Savior; when you realize that you have NOTHING to bring to the table. all you can do is show up. it's excruciatingly humbling as any self-sustaining pride that exists is decimated.

it is tragic that most often we have to be broken over and over again throughout life. it hurts. it sucks. it is embarassing at times. YET it is only through brokenness that we are given the capacity to understand and serve other broken people. that is absolutely worth it to me. without question.

coming out on the other side of this period of brokenness (slowly but surely!), i am so glad i went through it. sounds really weird and most days that i was in the middle of it all, i was just hurting-real bad. but i'm a different person now. one who appreciates the platform i've left. one who expectantly hopes for what's waiting on the platform ahead. i feel tremendously prepared to move forward and yet it seems like the platform isn't totally built yet. don't know when the next thing will come along. don't know what it will be. in the meantime, i'm concentrating on staying balanced so i don't slip off the rope and start plummeting.

it's a choice every day. but it's doable. i have such eagerness.

"He who began a good work in you will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6)

distance don't matta

"distance does not decide who is your brother and who is not"

my friend, taylor, who is very talented in photography and graphic design...designed these t-shirts in honor of his new niece and nephew from sierra leone!! i am the proud owner of one-thank you. i would probably wear it every day if that wasn't a fashion faux pas-it has Africa on it...why wouldn't you want to wear it every day??! (or maybe that's just me-ha :D)

[oh and for the record, i would MOSTLY wear it because i'm overjoyed that zeke and kora are home now-seriously, that's why and don't you ever doubt it...]

Snoqualmie Falls

i've been itchin' to get out of the city and into the mountains so i snagged amy and we hit the road! we didn't have a plan except that we wanted to find a hole-in-the-wall place for brunch and then to see the falls! well, chace's is a place that amy's mom and dad both grew up going to-it was perfect! an endearing older woman, who's probably been working there for 30 years, was our waitress, and she just kept refilling and refilling and refilling our coffee mugs :D
Snoqualmie Falls is only 30 minutes drive east of Seattle and in all the 6 years that i've been in the NW i've never been here...shocking! it was beautiful and with all the snow melt recently, gallons and gallons of water were just pouring over the edge.

-first glance-

- Shalis Lodge on the left-

-mist-

-the view down river-
-this was the beginning of a steep hike down-
-yikes-
-note: this photo is not enhanced at all; it literally was this brilliantly green!!-


-the amazing glory of it all-
-treasured friend and fellow adventurer :)-

-my 'lewis & clark' explorer pose~HA-
-the sign telling us not to climb down to the rocks we climbed down to-
-the sun barely peeking through the clouds~it was actually perfect to have a cloudy day for this because the temperature was ABSOLUTELY perfect-
-amy looks cute, i have an awkward 'balancing on wet rocks' stance~heh-

survival of the fittest

this is my friend, Mairead (you say it like 'parade' but it's with an 'm' and spelled differently :D). we work together. not just in the same office but we literally keep each other afloat-ha. she's the project coordinator and i'm the dedicated designer for one of our highest volume account managers. after working together for a year and a half...we've gotten used to maneuvering around the disorganized rhythm of debbie, and one look exchanged is enough to communicate novels of words. we've got our groove and can pretty much take care of things-no matter how crazy or HUGE or revision-riddled the job is (not without a few freak-out stress sessions but whatever--it's how we cope--don't judge).
the commercial contract furniture industry is known for being fast-paced and demanding. often we, "the furniture people", get left out of the building process until the last minute because people have no idea how complicated our systems are and how collaborative we need to be in order to make it work for the customer. i'm not just talking about meetings with the end users; i'm talking about how i need to meet with the architect, electrician, IT/Data guys (or gals), and the construction supervisor BEFORE the building plan is finalized.
the fun part about my job is showing up to these heads-down sort of meetings. in case you hadn't noticed, i look like i'm about 12 years old (ok, maybe 16 on a good day). so when i walk into a room with burly construction supervisors, big-wig stately architects, red-bull drinking electricians and skinny middle-aged IT guys (those were generalizations, sorry)...well, you get the picture. not only am i usually the only female but they also assume that i'm just 'the furniture person who really has nothing to do with this mtg but just wants to sit in to feel like part of the process.'
HA...then they do a double take when i tell the architect that they have to move this wall here and shrink the window over there and expand this hallway clearance here...and then i move on to the electricians and start spouting circuit load and amperage requirements and cabling capacities while the IT/data people are trying to insert details of all the printers/faxes/copy machines as well as these 4 people have 8 monitors they use every day, etc...meanwhile, the construction supervisors are just sitting there thinking, 'this project is going to be a nightmare-who invited her?!' ah, what a feeling of power-HA!
that really isn't the point of this post, i digress-sorry. i suppose what i wanted to communicate is that you have fight to survive in this industry (at least that's how i feel sometimes). so other professionals will collaborate with you. so you don't get swamped (i still haven't learned how to avoid that one). so clients don't walk all over you.
this week was the most harrowing week of our careers for Mairead and I. we have the most ridiculous, pretentious, terrifying client who i honestly think is sort of mentally unstable. i'm not even kidding. first of all, this woman has changed her mind on a project i'm working on a couple times with panic-attacks about the whole thing interspersed along the way. "lady, it's cubicle furniture. breath in. breath out." she had chosen one type of worksurface and then wanted to switch to another. panic attack. "lady-not a big deal. the cubicle opening will change from 4' to 3'6". it's still code. get a grip." we have to go field measure sites usually just to make sure it's accurate with what the CAD file says it is--she freaks out about who might be coming and proceeds to patronize us saying that engineers with PhD's measured the space. that we should "listen to her" and it wasn't just the average joe with a tape measure. "lady, i still need to do my job. i don't care who measured it and thanks a lot for assuming that i'm half brain dead. awesome. oh AND just for the record what else do you think i'm doing on the other end of the phone line??? seriously, i could think of about 10,000 different ways i would rather be spending my time than listening to your personal breakdowns about cubicle furniture."
FINALLY, we get to the end of the most exhausting 'hand-holding' hour and a half long phone discussion; debbie, mairead and i all have bags under our eyes and smoke coming out our ears. we're about ready to say goodbye when she says 'sweetly', 'ok, so when do you think you'll have those changes over to me?' i replied "well, it's going to take me some time to make all the revisions." she chimed back in with 'so...do you think it will be in the next few minutes?' (this was at 5:20pm by the way). i almost flew out of my chair and i tersely replied "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" taken abak because this woman has a very high brow mindset and walks all over people, she says 'well, aren't you a sassy one.' i stood up, walked away and made debbie take care of it. ha.

well, the long story short is that this picture of mairead (love her so much!) and i represents how we felt yesterday-at the end of this most harrowing week-her face: how we looked for the last 40 hours-- my face: how exuberantly excited we were for the weekend! cheers to commercial contract furniture -PUKE.

special gift

tonight i met 4 amazing people from Kenya. Moses (second from right) goes to my church and just graduated from SU (Seattle University) with a Masters in Public Health Administration. His mother (3rd from right), cousin (far right) and friend (far left) all came over from Kenya to celebrate this huge accomplishment. we got to hear Moses' heart and the 4 of them sang and danced for us; i spoke with Moses a bit about my passion AND turns out that they have some land they're going to be developing in Kenya... i may get to collaborate with them in helping to plan and design the comunity center!!! he has my card so we'll see what happens...(trying not to get too excited!)

i must say that the best part of the night was talking with Moses' mom. i went over to congratulate her on her son's accomplishment, and i was instantly enveloped in her arms. for about 10 minutes we just hugged, giggled and i was saying all kinds of things to her...and then i found out that she couldn't understand a word i was saying-she was just nodding and smiling and laughing-HA-that made me want to squeeze her more!! Moses' friend came over to translate eventually and towards the end of the conversation, i told her how beautiful her beaded jewelry was. (she made them all!) well, a few minutes later she wanders over to me and GIVES ME ONE OF HER BRACELETS...i started tearing up because she grabbed my hand, slipped it over my wrist, grinned at me and gave me a huge hug.

isn't it beautiful??!! i don't think i'm ever going to take it off! :D

ahh....SUN

this weekend was amazing--it was sunny and warm the whole time!! i played a few hours of kickball on saturday afternoon after sharing an amazing brunch with some friends-yum.

sunday, janelle, laura and i spent a few hours takin' it all in at greenlake...ideal, to say the least, especially sipping on coffee fraps from Starbucks :)

snapshots of summer!!

here's a few glimpses of seattle bathed in sunshine-finally on June 12th :) (by the way, yesterday it was colder in seattle than it was in Siberia-just thought you might like to know that-ha!)
people are SO ready to be active in good weather...kayaks are sprinkled all over the lakes- sailboats, yachts and cruises skim through the water with ease-and i hope this means summer is upon us???!!!
i was actually warm in a tank top, took a nap on the boat dock @ South Lake Union for a half hour, and robbed the sun of all it's vitamin D...

South Lake Union

ship canal: Fremontnothin' screams summer more than a truck. nothin' will catch the eye quite like a rusty, well used truck. nothin' in more american than chevrolet. isn't she gorgeous?! (sigh) i love cars.

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.
Sir Winston Churchill

Market Pictures

most sunday's that i'm in town, i can usually be found at one of the various markets around town: pike place, ballard or fremont. i love so many things about the market. people watching. coffee. music. organic fresh produce. brilliant flowers. creative things. flying fish. and oddly enough, i really love the feeling of being alone in a crowded place. today was a busy day downtown but for some reason, i got really lucky with a few unadulterated shots, and because summer hasn't decided to show up the lighting was actually perfect.

active in Africa

these are the people in my world that are so inspirational...

my dear friend, Sarah, is headed to Sierra Leone for the summer tomorrow!! she's taking a team of teachers, from her school in Denver, there for 3 weeks and then spending the rest of the summer working amongst those she knew from living there a year ago (the small baby she's holding was born during her year of living there and was named after her :D)another friend of mine, Joanna (who spent a portion of last summer there with her husband Taylor-visiting Sarah), has two new family members from Sierra Leone-Zeke and Kora. her sister and brother-in-law, Jody and Andy, just got back from picking up these beautiful kids!!(proud parents of 6 now)Maren, a close friend from college, is just wrapping up a year of teaching in Ethiopia with 3 others, including her sister (maren's on the right, and her sister on the left).

AND a family friend, Meg, is working in Uganda/Rwanda with YWAM.

LOTS of good things going on over in Africa :)

watch this-it's adorable!

JOY

i can't even describe it but last night i felt like a huge wet blanket had been lifted off. for the first time in like 6 months, i actually feel like myself again! joy-filled, optimistic and blessed. i know that emotions have been running high as i've tried to sort through things-i've probably scared a few people off-ha!

this blog is my space to do my thing. it's my space to share life with you all. i most certainly don't put every thought that goes through my head on here but as i've said before, writing helps me to work through things; to sort through some confusion. i know that some of the lows of the last 6 months have been pretty intense-i won't deny that and i don't want to be fake about it. i hate the idea of living life without asking questions or wrestling with my perspective. so when something challenging comes up, you can bet your bottom dollar i'm going to engage with it. i won't apologize for that.

there is a level of transparency that i desire to communicate. that's why the great, good, bad and ugly show up on here. i want to live transparently because it shows the transforming power of Jesus' grace and strength. i can't do this life by myself, and i won't pretend to have it all together just for the front.

SO-thanks to all who have stuck this tough season out with me! i feel like Julie Andrews in Sound of Music singing "the hills are alive..."--freedom, joy, and willingness to embrace life :)

feelin' a little low

bummer...
just heard from nashville-position got filled :( oh and san fran doesn't need anyone either.
can't get through to portland or seattle.
still waiting for LA.

I am scared to change careers. It’s a risk. What if, after I have done all this work to change and follow what I think is a passion of my heart, I don’t like it? or worse, what if i suck at it? I suppose life just goes on and you find something else to do but I don’t want to look like a fool. And I really don’t want to uproot myself for a job that isn’t going to work out.

one of my co-workers who knows i'm on the job hunt has her first daughter graduating high school in a week. it's been really really hard on her to know that she will be leaving. as we talked today, i could tell she's been on a crazy rollercoaster of emotions because she even teared up a couple times. she asked how my search was going, and i just started tearing up. so we're both sitting in her cubicle crying for two very different reasons; i think we bonded and felt much better afterwards:)

I know the right answers for all these musings/doubts/fears. Some days they are comforting. Other days they make me want to scream. Life can be confusing and hard to figure out yet I say that coming from such a blessed experience and really honestly knowing nothing of hardship compared to so many of the people that I long to be amongst...

another steal...

i stole this from my friend Craig's blog :)

“Jesus is the Justice of God. This means there can be no division between confessing Jesus and doing justice. We cannot pick Jesus or justice; we cannot give priority to one over the other. This is the case because Jesus and justice finally are not two things, only one. Jesus is our Justice. Therefore, Christians can only do justice rightly by proclaiming Jesus and we can onlyproclaim Jesus faithfully by doing justice. To proclaim the good news of Jesus is to do justice; to do justice is to proclaim Jesus. To do anything less is neither to confess Jesus nor do justice rightly.”
-Daniel M. Bell

life with Christ is the embodiment of Micah 6:8 "He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Jody's family, through the process of following God's call to adopt from Africa, has been an inspirational example of how challenging and equally edifying it is for relationship with Christ.

i cannot believe this.
it's june 3rd (yep, summertime)
and it's POURING RAIN.
it sounds like someone is emptying a jug of water down my gutter spout.
flash flooding everywhere.
gale-force winds.
Seattle is not making a case for itself...

blowing in the wind

(image source)

ok, things seem to be changing daily-so bear with me...

LA is starting to fall through the cracks (at least the housing/cost-of-living scenario)-the door isn't shut but it's not working out as anticipated. which is fine. i still need to hear back from Relief Int'l early next week and that will really give me a better idea of things.

i called portland (mercy corps) today to follow up. i also emailed seattle (world concern)to follow up (even though i don't really want to stay in seattle, i'm realizing) i also started looking again.

i did stumble onto what sounds like an amazing position that i think i am going to apply for this week. it's for Blood:Water Mission-their areas of focus are clean water/AIDS and they are endorsed by Bono's One Campaign.

the position is called a Water Project Manager- aside from getting some amazing non-profit experience, the job incorporates "extensive travel to Africa" :D these trips would focus on a lot of different things but one of the primary responsibilities would be documenting the stories of the beautiful souls over there through pictures and writing!!! wow. that sounds like a dream job :)

i don't want to get too excited because i've already gotten really disappointed in this searching process. also, i don't know a single soul in nashville, TN-which is where the job is :( this would be a HUGE step of faith-2432 miles from seattle!! the job description alone makes me want to go for it though-ah!

ok, that's it. i know it's not very exciting and i definitely feel like a very weak reed being tossed around in the breeze right now...but i am still hopelessly in love with Africa and humanitarian work.

East Coast Trip-Part 3-Jersey Shore

let me start by saying, it was beautiful. it was cloudy but it was beautiful! this is belmar, nj-one of the more popular spots along the jersey shore. east coast people spend their entire summer here, at least some of them. as a lover of beaches, i can tell you that this place has amazing sand! the water is cold but the sand is GREAT! it's fine grained, white sand :D
i am really used to looking west when i see the ocean and over there, you are gazing east-that means Africa is right across the water :)