i got this in a package today from joanna and taylor-a whole book about Darfur!! THANK YOU. compiled by a photographer who has taken pictures in "some of the most tragic places in our world...The Sudanese, whose story is on these pages and in these photographs, live in the worst human condition i have ever photographed."

as soon as i opened it, my breath caught in my throat and my eyes welled up with tears; the photograph below was probably the most gripping in the collection-it makes my heart ache. immensely. for the injustice occurring over there (and many other places in the world). why why why must human beings hate and exterminate one another? i don't understand. as i write this, my heart is also grieved by the news, just today, of the Congo spiraling out of control to what some fear may be another genocide situation. Sri Lanka has been plastered all over the headlines in utter shambles torn apart over civil war. and Darfur continues to erupt in increasing violence. my reaction to all this is such a dichotomy: shocked, grieving and broken about all this violence and grateful yet humbled because i know nothing of what it means to suffer...

this little one has a dusty face and eyes that have known such fear, violence, and hurt-you can just see the bitter pain in his expression. i stare at his face and instinctually, i am desperate to hold him. to cry with him. to pray truth over him. to LOVE ON HIM-because he, and so many others, have been unjustly robbed of so much. i don't know from experience anything about what he's been through and i honestly don't know what i would have to offer to anyone in a crisis like this...but my first reaction to these problems is that i always want to be there. to share in the sufferings. to offer hope. to do whatever i can-it doesn't even matter what-just anything that will make them feel important, valued and loved. anything that gives them back a sense of dignity in some small way.

that's what this photographer did by putting together this book-he's giving them a voice and connecting faces and stories to headlines and statistics. it makes it real. we can no longer hide, feigning ignorance. for what we are aware of, we are also responsible to.

Proverbs 31:8, 9b-"Speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute...defend the rights of the poor and needy."

i don't know what the point of this post was, except to say 'thank you' to dear friends who understand my heart and to continue the conversation about how to respond and give voice to those without...

{*this was not meant to be a 'downer' post because the photographer also highlighted a section called "Children at Play" saying 'Their joyful spirit reminds us that even in the midst of tragedy, the children have not lost hope.'-i love that. it was followed by several shots of kids just being kids. forgetting for a few moments the travesty of the situation around them. "In the face of constant danger, dwindling resources, and only minimal assistance from international aid groups, these die-hard Darfurians are finding ways to cope." (Edmund Sanders, Los Angeles Times 2007)}

Pumpkin Love & Fall Delight

these little oinkers were LOUD! ha.

lilly the bunny

remember tire swings??

my favorite picture from the whole trip :D

mini john deere-i felt like a giant!

fun colors and perfect lighting!

senior portrait-ha

more delicious colors and perfect lighting!

right after doing some karate kicks in the air-we were COVERED in hay!

can you believe this??-BEAUTIFUL-

on the hay ride...

...in the covered wagon!

there's somethin' quite swoony about tractors...

If i find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that i fight is at best only light and momentary
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared
Speak to me in the light of the dawn

Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
as I wait for hope to come for me Am i lost or just less found?
On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
'Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming
(C.S. Lewis Song-Brooke Fraser)
*pictures taken from Sunset Hill Park of the UNBELIEVABLE sunet we were graced with this evening!!*

A Quarter of a Century Young

i had the most perfect birthday, EVER! we have been having the most delightful fall weather here in seattle, and my big day felt custom made to order: perfectly sunny, almost 70 degrees and drowning in luscious fall colors. i woke up to sun streaming in my window planning to spend a 1/2 day at work (why work the whole day if you can help it??). for the most part, it went along normally until they made an announcement over the loudspeaker just before noon saying "will everyone gather in the lunchroom for emily's birthday celebration." what?! i pulled my headphones out to make sure i had heard that right, sat there for a minute trying to figure out what was going on and then stood up. EVERYONE was waiting in the lunchroom, staring at me and yelling "happy birthday". i immediately squated back down into my cube, totally embarrassed by the whole thing thinking "oh my gosh, they're all waiting for me to walk over there?!". ack. so i stood up and started walking towards the kitchen, and everyone started making a fuss again...i had to duck around the corner for a minute...i was so shocked and taken aback by this whole thing-and i really don't love it when people stare at me...ha...so i finally made it to the kitchen to discover CUPCAKES! my favorite :D i felt so loved even though i was so embarrassed. they said they had never seen my cheeks so red-yikes! good thing nobody was taking pictures :)

next, i met laura and megan for SUSHI...(another favorite). we spent over an hour grabbing raw seafood off of a moving belt at Blue C and scheming about halloween costumes!

Next it was off to Tutta Bella Pizzeria for dinner with 10 friends!

unbeknownst to me, they had all collaborated to get me an ipod Nano!! what? i couldn't believe it!! i felt beyond blessed by their company alone-it was a total surprise to say the least.

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY WISHES! i felt so loved :D

grad school update

the release of the important application has been pushed back to November-according to the website, and the unanswered sweetly pestering email i sent confirms it, i think...arg-i'm so anxious to get started on it!! right now, it's just kinda hurry up and wait...except that i can be studying for the GRE (although not being certain that i have to take it, i'm not insanely motivated right now...)


ok, that's it. hoping that 'november' means EARLY november rather than later november...and learning lots of patience, in the meantime, which i could always use more of anyway :D

sunday market, friends, and fall colors

-fall harvest is bountiful!-

-kyara and robyn-




-me & tara-

-kiki & I-

-tara & ro-

-street painter-

-one of my favorite buildings in ballard-
-copper-rimmed bell tower-
-sweet bike-

POVERTY

~today is the International Day for the Eradication of Poverty (as sanctioned by the UN).

~2008 is also the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

~two days ago, bloggers all over the world united to voice concern, opinions, and solutions for this problem through something called Blog Action Day. (thanks scott, for the heads up!). unfortunately i wasn't able to put something together in time but i figured that since today is the actual day for Poverty Awareness, i would talk about it anyway...

this is a HUGE issue to tackle and after being both excited and overwhelmed at what to say, i've decided the best way to do this is by highlighting a few organizations i fully believe in and respect that are making strides towards erradicating poverty and bringing human dignity back to the lives of nearly half of the world's population living on less than $2/day.

**Poverty is deprivation of common necessities that determine the quality of life, including food, clothing, shelter and safe drinking water, and may also include the deprivation of opportunities to learn, to obtain better employment to escape poverty, and/or to enjoy the respect of fellow citizens. ** (wikepedia)

i know what you're thinking and i think it sometimes too..."i know there's a problem but what am i supposed to do about it?" and "how can i make a difference, as one person?" and "the little i can contribute won't really make much of a difference..."

-WRONG, people. all these organizations were dreamt up and created as a result of individuals. they connect with individuals in these terrible situations. and they are supported by individuals, like you and me. yes, these eventually snowball into collaborative efforts but without the 'individuals' being aware and willing to do what they can, the 'collaborative' doesn't even exist.

Author Julie Orringer wrote, "Try to understand that there's a world larger than the one you inhabit." {i love this}

~take a look at some of the people on my radar making a difference in regards to this issue...

Agros is a Seattle-based, non-profit organization that "exists to restore hope and opportunity to the world’s poor. Agros enables rural poor families in Central America and Mexico to escape the cycle of poverty by purchasing their own land. Agros extends land loans to purchase farmland and partners with families in applying sustainable agricultural practices. Taking a holistic and sustainable approach to development, Agros works to restore the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual brokenness of the people we serve."

Word Made Flesh (in Sierra Leone) has a sub-program called Lighthouse Center for Former Street Children. "WMF is heavily involved in Lighthouse, a program started by Sierra Leoneans to encourage and support children on the streets of Freetown. Fourteen teenagers are using these opportunities to learn trades or attend school." they are given skills to pull themselves out of poverty and my favorite thing is that it was started by local, native Sierra Leoneans who had a passion for their own countrymen.

Krochet Kids International (in Gulu, Uganda), started by a bunch of surfer/snowboarding dudes (including my friend, Ryan), exists "to create sustainable economic development programs that support holistic growth of individuals and communities within developing nations. To inspire the knowledge of a generation about their ability to bring change to a world that is in need"; "Each day, a group of women in Northern Uganda gather in a simple brick hut to begin work. Their tools are small, just a hook and some yarn, yet the end product is something much more meaningful than a style accessory. The crocheted products these women are making have a far reaching impact. They provide immediate stability for their families, share about the realities of poverty, and their sale promotes the development of their community."--so if you need a beanie-style hat, this is the place to buy it!

ok, i think i'm done...i'm also smiling so HUGELY right now because there is hope. even though the problem is big, the above organizations are just a small slice of proof that there's a difference being made in the lives of many, many people.

"Yet who knows if you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" (esther 4:14b)

NOW GET OUT THERE AND CHANGE THE WORLD, PEOPLE!

a few more from last weekend...

*courtesy of sister

-love-

a little fun on the toes :) i'm a lucky girl to have a sister like this!

CLASSIC sister pose-ha!
look at this fun chair!

my beautiful mother

Fall in Seattle

Following the footsteps of Sarah, I’m going to start highlighting, periodically, the everyday things that turn my world upside-down; it’s a shame that we miss these when we get lost in daily life-they’re so simple and so grand!
Sooooo for today, FALL IN SEATTLE: the sun is shining (after a solid drowning last night :D), wispy clouds in the perfectly blue sky, cool breeze, leaves swirling…hope abounds. I’m so grateful for bright fall days like this-we are blessed!

(*pictures not mine...i stole them from some website)

battle.

my head is spinning...i feel like i'm doing battle...and it's overwhelming.

Satan is nailing me with discouraging encounters/conversations at work, overwhelmingness at how big some our problems in this world are and how little i feel. wanting to be innundated with Christ's life and being smacked in the face by the reality of this fallen world. i'm blazing with passion to help but terrified that i won't be able to make a difference. tired of fighting (especially at work); so very tired yet knowing that retreat to 'safety' is exactly opposite of what i should do.

i also just got back from watching Call & Response (please click on this link to learn more!), a 'rockumentary' about human trafficking and modern day slavery. several bands, inspired by the undercover footage they've seen of these injustices as well as personal encounters, have written amazing songs in respose to this; they've partnered with organizations like IJM, journalists from around the world, and other internationally involved organizations to make this film. to expose this evil.

to be honest, i thought i was going to throw up at the end of the movie-it was gripping and horrifying. please don't let that discourage you from finding a showing in your area...it's SO important that we are aware of this. it's going on in each of our cities too-in fact, they showed some footage from San Francisco, and i know of a huge local effort in Western Washington; raids are happening and justice is being sought but we need to be aware. it is our duty as human beings to know what's going on in this world of ours. to know that phrases like 'human trafficking' mean faces of girls and boys-in bondage, addicted to drugs so that the brothel doesn't seem so harsh, brainwashed into violent fighting, raping and pillaging of villages. this is not ok. these are human beings. these are children.

i know there's only so many 'causes' you can effectively be an ambassador for and it's easy to get inspired in the moment so i guess this post is simply to ask you to make an intentional and active decision to know what's going on in this world-pursue whatever you care about, it doesn't matter what...just be aware...how else can we help? how can we reveal glimpses of Christ unless we know how to meet people where they're at? how easy it is to do a disservice to the Lord through our own ignorance...

Martin Luther King Jr. said, "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."

think about it.

Girl's Weekend

what: weekend with my mom and sister :D
where: shaumburg, IL (chicago suburb)
when: thurs-sat
who: the 3 of us + 6200 other women
why: to learn more about the intentional pursuit of biblical womanhood

gettin' the weekend started with the good stuff--mom is triple fistin' it here :)

my favorite (& only) sister

squinty eyes-ha

can you believe this dessert?? mom was clearly ready to tackle this one!
love her so much

it was so sunny and beautiful there!
when you're in a conference all day, you pretty much just take pictures of each other during free time :) sorry!
pretty fountain

one of my favorites from the weekend! look at the rainbow on the edge of the cloud-so rad!
at the Denver Airport-got to see my dad during a layover :)
i haven't seen any family in 10 months before this weekend--it was glorious to finally hug them in person-missed them!

-my parents-

wise words from a greek philosopher

"He who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must either be a beast or a god."

Aristotle

well, i'm neither...so i started thinking about how and why i try so hard to be self-sufficient...

joseph stowell writes, in his book radical reliance, that few of us really live in a posture of "adoring dependency that is required to experience Him most fully and to be most powerfully used by Him"...that got me thinking even more...

there is an impass between sufficiency and dependency. one, in no way collaborates with or supports the other. undeniably, this will be a point of constant tension throughout life.

i am gonna be honest here-i don't like to be dependent. on anybody. including God, at moments. i know i'm supposed to and i try hard to be. believe me. but it does not in any way feel natural to me.


i want to be strong. to prove my value. to do my part. to not put anyone out or be an imposition. i prefer to fly under the radar in most situations which means not 'needing' much. i don't ever want to be 'high-maintenance'.

on the flip side, i'm SO aware of my need for God. i am SO aware of how many times i fail everyday. i'm SO aware of how high-maintenance we all are in relation to Christ. this concept shouldn't be hard to swallow. ha.

instead i sit here, frustrated by my own stubborness relentlessly demanding that i 'figure it out'. annoyed that i can't do it (no surprise). ashamed that i have needed and will continue to need breaking throughout my life to accomplish this dependency.

i am shocked at how quickly sufficiency can become an idol in my walk with Christ. it's the imposition of man's values on the heart of Christ. these two are grossly mismatched, ill-fitting and mututally exclusive to each other.

yet just as the bitter flavor of this struggle sets in, the sweet aftertaste takes me by surprise...in my spirit, i know that i can trust my Savior. i have seen His hand too many times to deny. i know that this 'sufficiency' i strive for is at best fleeting, unattainable and exhausting. and no matter how unnatural it may feel at first, i know that adoring dependency is what i want my relationship with Christ to embody. a lifestyle of worship to the One who displayed ultimate dependence on the Father throughout His life and ministry.

until then, i know i'll never be a god but i'll try to avoid becoming a beast...

DelGrosso visit

Callie and Brandon came to visit! i'm not sure what it is about the three of us but whenever i drive down to see them or vica versa, we always hit TERRIBLE traffic; they were troopers through 6 hours of traffic to come see me and i love them for it!!

-in an alley in the pouring rain-yes, i made them stop for a picture :D-

-brandon loves games-brandon and callie play LOTS of games-we have a relatively new store that's entirely dedicated to non-electronic entertainment on Q.Anne called Blue Highway Games that i had been talking up for a while...here's brandon, soaking it all in-
-while brandon perused, callie and i played a game called Squint; essentially, you draw a card and then you have to create the thing, theme or action out of all these random squares with various squiggles and lines on them (squinting helps you to figure it out)~this was my impression of a 'chef's hat'--callie totally guessed it :D
-then she got a 'weiner dog'-
-we laughed out loud a lot and the place was PACKED!-
@ B&O espresso--amazing desserts-YUM

Stumptown is a Portland roasting company that has finally opened a coffee shop in seattle-i'm pumped!
foam art=legit
-we actually got to go downstairs and talk to their roaster about their beans, their origin and the roasting process...talk about a personal coffee experience-i'm sold on this place!
it's roasters like this that make me want to be snooty about coffee-ha :D

my favorite part was that over their bean storage area, the sign says 'drugs'

@ the Frye Art Museum-an installation about Napolean's conquering pursuits in Egypt; as well as all the documentation of bugs, plants, animals, buildings, people, and culture were on display-amazing!
in Pioneer Square-one of my favorite places to wander around on a crisp, fall day! those old buildings evoke a nostalgic longing for Europe
p.s. aren't they SO cute?!
-this is my favorite building; it's perfect-

not to mention there are TONS of bookstores down there, including Elliot Bay Book Company (my favorite); today i found a treasure--a collection of Rudyard Kipling's poetry

not only is is used and broken in (which i prefer over new, usually) but it's from 1924!! i can't even imagine all the places it's been and owners it's had in it's 84 year life...

awkward arm pose-HA
way more normal-the group hugging didn't work out :/ THANKS FOR COMING-it was such a blessing to fellowship with you!

is this real??

"On August 19th 2007, an oil tanker off the coast of Australia split in two, dumping 20,000 tons of crude oil.Senator Collins, a member of the Australian Parliament, appeared on a TV news program to reassure the Australian public. This actual interview is so funny; you'd swear it was a 'Saturday Night Live' skit (Or Monty Python)" (a friend passed this along)

It just proves... Once a politician, always a politician!

my favorite month

October is my favorite month of the whole year. i love everything about it. fall is setting in and leaves are brilliantly morphing to new colors daily. pumpkins, apple cider and corn mazes await. my "it only happens once a year" day is during this month. one of the few days during the year that adults have an excuse to dress up comes along at the end of the month (not telling what my costume is...).
oddly enough, 1/2 the birthdays in my extended family are during this month :) including my sweet, amazing and totally inspiring grandma.

so, of course, there is one major cause featured--can you guess?? we all know someone who has been affected by this, and it's an honor to celebrate the survivors and the tireless effort for a cure! (by the way, can i just say that pink happens to be the color for this cause which is great...don't get me wrong--it's just dangerous because not only do i love that color but i'm crazy about the cause so i have a hard time not buying all the BCAM stuff that is plastered around every store-who doesn't need a pink vacuum or kitchen aid or spatula?? KIDDING...i don't really buy all that-my roommate would kill me)

tonight, i got a little curious and found some other reasons to love October even more:

*the 1st monday of October is World Habitat Day "The United Nations has designated the first Monday in October each year as World Habitat Day. The idea is to reflect on the state of our towns and cities and the basic right to adequate shelter for all. It is also intended to remind the world of its collective responsibility for the future of the human habitat."

~October 17th is the International Day for the Erradication of Poverty

-Among the more amusing celebrations going on: be bald and be free day [not even gonna go there...]; international bandana day (indiana jones, anyone??); create a great funeral day (what?? seriously-who thinks of these things...)

Last, i must agree with Nathaniel Hawthorne when he says, "There is no season when such pleasant and sunny spots may be lighted on, and produce so pleasant an effect on the feelings, as now in October."

hopefully you don't feel like you just wasted brain cells reading this :/ HAPPY OCTOBER!!

Sabbath.

This morning, I woke to a cool breeze floating in through the window. I could tell, even before getting out of bed, that it was foggy and quiet outside. A peek through the glass revealed air, saturated with water; both slanted roofs and treetops were peering through the undulating fog. I was actually craving a day like this.
Up here in the Northwest, we get so excited and pack our schedules full when the sun appears. It’s just instinct. But after a handful of those days, I start to long for the calm that accompanies the clouds and fog. It becomes innate-this need for the quiet.
I’ve been pondering the concept of Sabbath over the last few weeks and today seemed fitting to let these thoughts spill out. I don’t know if it’s the fall season or if it’s just that time again in the rhythm of life, when I need to slow down; to rest. I’m ashamed to admit that I often do need a reason…I won’t blame it all on society but honestly, it’s really hard as an American to allow yourself to relax. Pathetically, we even ‘plan’ our vacations and then come back exhausted. While ‘relaxing’, we have mental lists going of ‘things to clean’, ‘things to do’, ‘emails to write’, ‘phone calls to make’, etc. A perfect example of the true meaning of multitasking!
I would think it wrong to say that a full life is a bad life; most of us are undeniably blessed with many good things that fill our days, evenings and weekends. What healthy, varied perspectives we gain though all of these experiences, relationships and interactions! We were created to be in community; to share life; to be intentional with others. I know that I have had some really candid and moving glimpses of Christ inside the framework of community.
Yet there is a calling to holy rest. To Sabbath. It’s a choice to slow down. It has to be intentional in this society of ‘instant’ everything; where the 2nd question someone asks you, after your name, is “what do you do?”. I also think that many of us subconsciously avoid it because it’s scary. Yep, I said scary. Slowing down means there’s nothing distracting us from the things we don’t want to face; slowing down means getting a glimpse of the ugly corners of our heart; slowing down means realizing how much we actually DO desperately need Christ.
It also means seeing more clearly the character of the One who gave His very life for ours. It means seeing the fulfillment of His promise “that He who began a good work will carry it on to completion…” It means smelling the roses. It means savoring the aroma and taste of coffee. It means breathing in deeply of the crisp, fall air. It means so many good, good things.
I don’t entirely know what this looks like practically and it will be different in each of our stories, but I’ve been so convicted to choose this in my life. Not to just let it happen if it happens…
It makes sense to me that this plays out both in the context of community and on the individual level. The essence of our faith lies in the relationship we have with Christ. So we must invest in that; yet the materialization of all we learn about Christ’s character and life is in relationship with others. We learn to love, forgive, extend grace, accept grace, and delight in our family and friends; even with strangers. It happens both in our daily community and in those we’re just passing through for a time. That’s the beauty of Sabbath-anytime, anyhow, anywhere. Sabbath is Christ.