work to do

The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.

-Jonas Salk-

we still have some work to do, folks.

we still have some work we get to do, folks.

we made a dent.

actually, a pretty big one in my opinion.

12 villages in Liberia will, for generations, have clean water.

12 villages in Liberia will, for generations, have life where there wasn't any.

we're shooting for 15 more this year.

this work we're doing...not an obligation. not a guilt-trip. not a feel-good sort of thing.

it's a privilege. an honor to participate in this. and it's life-changing, in a good way.

can you imagine seeing the hope of life shining through the eyes of a child, or a village?

here:

(photo courtesy of charity:water)

for just $20/month.

that is NOTHING.

and it is EVERYTHING.

we're 1/3 of the way there with just over 100.

will you join? if this stirs your heart even a little, please consider it.

25 things

there's a thing floating around on facebook called "25 random things about you"...it's been so fun to read through the lists of some of my friends...but since many of you don't do facebook, i thought i would post mine here :) enjoy...maybe you'll learn something new!

1. i love paper shredders.
2. i am not very good about using my blinker in the car.
3. i could spend hours pouring over an atlas.
4. there's a cowgirl streak, somethin' fierce, in me...
5. i 'suffer' from an intense wanderlust.
6. i value solitude immensely.
7. favorite place i've visited so far: firenze (florence, italy)
8. i switch out my bathroom towel at least once a week.
9. i love throwing things away.
10. there's just something about the open road.
11. i've never dyed my hair-barely highlighted it once, didn't love it...au naturale suits me best.
12. i love a glass of pinot grigio or a cold belgian beer on occasion.
13. can't think of a better way to wake up other than to sun streaming in the window.
14. i want to visit iceland, so badly.
15. scarves are one of my favorite things about fall/winter.
16. i love the color of pomegranates and artichokes.
17. waterfalls are one of the most awe-inspiring natural wonders to me.
18. rowan atkinson is one of the funniest actors; steve zahn is a close 2nd.
19. i've watched Pride & Prejudice about 4, 362, 598 times (ok, not really but i'm close!)
20. i love ABBA
21. i can't stand people eating with their mouths open or slurping their beverages.
22. one of my favorite moments in life so far: watching a lightening storm on the beach in hawaii.
23. DOGS, DOGS, DOGS-the bigger, the better
24. concert in my car-always. ha.
25. i ponder love daily. how to understand it. live it. give it. receive it. i want to be good at it.

a few more

-janelle's bachelorette party. we were 'practicing' the ceremony...something hilarious must have happened-HA!-

-best spring break ever. hawaii 2006-
-croquette! a dying art...anybody interested in reviving it?!-

-i will miss these girls tremendously-

-again, not entirely sure what caused this reaction...oh, i love the beach!-

foggy brain...old photos

my head is so foggy, i hardly made it to the store and back without feeling like i was going to throw up or pass out. SO...i have nothing coherent to say...but as i'm sorting through my belongings, preparing to move, i've stumbled onto some old photos...in no particular order and for no particular reason, here's a few. i'll do my best to come up with adequate captions :)

-at one of my favorite places: the beach-

-summer volleyball; i miss this...i need to get back into it-
-trip to PA to surprise Jo; the weekend was divine :)-

-one of my favorite shots of the hundreds that i've taken of seattle grayness/fog. i took it from the middle of the ballard bridge. pulled off as soon as i saw the view. walked halfway out on the bridge. was late to work. SO WORTH IT. i love the tinge of color at the base of the picture from the boats/foliage and the shafts of light highlighting the shades of gray.-

UGH.

i'm kind of embarassed at how 'rudimentary' my blog still is more than 2 years after starting it...UGH.
i'm working on that.
i have ideas.
for cool things, different pages, etc...
it will take some time but i just can't stand it anymore!!
i need the creative freedom to work outside a template-it's driving me nuts.

also, just for the record, at exactly 6pm tonight i was fully dressed in my PJ's with pink fuzzy socks on, a runny nose, sore throat, and woozy head. AHH-CHOO...sniff, sniff.

gotta go...i'm making soup and hot tea; then popping a couple nyquil...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

{p.s. thanks for still reading my blog even though it's driving me crazy! y'all are the best and i promise to make it better and more interesting soon...}

75

we're 75 strong and growing...in 3 days! hoping to hit 300 this week-300 stirrings in hearts for clean water. can you imagine what that would be like, living in Liberia, knowing that 300+ people in the US are dedicated? totally committed to doing what they can just so that your country can have something so so basic? it's just a small voice right now-1/4 of the goal...but it's a voice. and it can get bigger...will you join us? sign up here.

(photo credit- charity: water)

“When the story of these times gets written, we want it to say that we did all we could, and it was more than anyone could have imagined.” (Bono)

it's snowing in seattle, again.
what a crazy weather year it has been...
did you hear me??!!
SNOWING.
fortunately, it's not sticking yet.
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
i'm cold.

-this picture represents how i feel right now. it's from when we were in Lucerne, Switzerland-3 1/2 years ago! (has it been that long already?!) we were pretty chilly having just come from the Italian Riviera.-

Colorado or Bust!

it's been killing me to not tell you.

seriously.

i couldn't until it was officially announced at work.

for fear of early discovery and a messy rumor.

but it was made official today.

and boy, do i feel good!

[it's quite odd that despite how long i've been looking forward to putting in my notice, i am sad too. that's 2 years of my life invested there. my account manager isn't just my coworker, but a beloved mentor and my friend, too. my design boss is a godsend. there are so many good things i will walk away from this job holding onto...in sweet memory. my actual nitty gritty job...i will not miss.]

I'M MOVING BACK TO COLORADO at the beginning of march!!! i'm so so excited. i've been yearning for a change of sorts for just over a year now. i've searched high and low for things i might possibly do; here, there & everywhere. i've blogged about my many struggles and the small triumphs. i've learned a heck of a lot about myself, my Savior, and 'growing up'.

i always swore i would never move back to CO. not because i don't like it. not because it happens to be probably the 'coolest' state to be from in the US. :D not because of anything in particular, except that i spent my whole first 18 years there...

this is a big world. there's lots to see and you all should know by now, that i want to explore every square inch of it! i thirst for adventure, travel and change. i firmly believe that my soul is 1/2 gypsie-HA...i just always get these swelling longings to wander. to explore. to see. to be free.

yet much of this last year, i have been lonely for my family. missing being able to hug them. missing the sunsine, so badly.

i came home at Christmas desperate for some family time. i simply couldn't face another year at mbi without that support. i went home. soaked it in and then realized..."coming back doesn't mean it has to be permanent...so why not?!" it's the perfect time in life to do this. to make a change, that i so desperately need. and i'm excited.

i have shed many tears over leaving the NW. many, many packages of tissues already have been used.

this is a perfect personality fit for me (minus the minimal sunshine). i actually don't mind the clouds. i just mind it when it's only clouds.

i have essentially become my own person here in the NW. 6 1/2 years. that's a lot to walk away from.

i'm so blessed with unbelievable friends, new and old.

i'm still having a hard time thinking about leaving my church. it has been instrumental in my faith. thankfully, they do podcasts :)

it's GORGEOUS up here, in case you hadn't noticed. there's art and culture all over the place that feeds the creative side of my soul.

it's just everything wonderful and good. i will grieve leaving. there's no doubt.

yet, this all goes back to the snapshots vs journey thing i talked about. seattle has been a snapshot for me. for a long, wonderful, beautiful time. now it's time for a change. i feel so peaceful about it, albeit difficult. but as we just keep moving, we have to trust that another glorious snapshot awaits. i'm so confident of that. (and i'm not saying i'll never move back, i just need to do this at this time in my life)

in case you didn't know this about me, i am a 'planner'.

i like to have a plan.

i need to have a plan.

and when i don't, i can kinda freak out.

i'm a weird combo of {spontaneous and 'fly by the seat of my pants'} and {research, prepare, etc.} i'm OK with that. it's when i'm suspended into 'nothingness' that i begin to freak out. that's what happened this last year. i couldn't figure out a plan. and it broke me...but in a really good way. i needed that breaking. i needed to learn to trust more. i needed to 'let it go.'

why do our 'issues' always sound so simple to resolve in retrospect??!! that's annoying. ha.

so here i am. making a choice to be near my family. for the rest of 2009. i don't know what 2010 holds. i'm trying to not let myself think about it...so that i go in the posture and with the purpose of enjoying fully the moments that this trasition time holds. rich, supportive and wonderfully full of Vitamin D :)

i am going to explore a few career things while i'm there. i'll be working at Pottery Barn part-time, just for fun :) and then exploring a few other things. we'll see...i'm sorta likin' this whole 'not having a plan' thing...for now...

anyway, i am truly sorry to have kept you in the dark for so long...i'm so relieve to finally be able to talk about it! and please, please still read my blog even though i'm moving...please?!

LOVE YOU ALL. so very much.

300 Voices

ok, folks. i'm back...and excited about H2O!! can't shake the imact that Water4Christmas had on me/us...so it's turned into 300 voices.
[which, by the way, i can't remember i ever gave the final total of that campaign but it was $60,000!! God is so good and that's LOTS AND LOTS of clean water...and lots of changed hearts. amazing.]
jody continues to give inspiration about how to tangibly make water a part of our everyday lives. i'm grateful for her vision and believe in how this awareness changes lives...so read below.

-----------------------------------
Never underestimate the ability of a small group of committed individuals to change the world; indeed they're the only ones who ever have." (Margaret Mead)

OK, here we go.
Sometime in December, I did some rough math. I was all excited because I thought I was onto something. I wondered, "So if we raise $60,000 every year at Water For Christmas, how many years would it take us to give Liberia clean water?" I furiously typed numbers into the calculator. Hit the equal button....
300 years.
Hmmm.
That's a little discouraging.
But it haunted me. And I couldn't shake it.
We have to use this. This is too important.
I might be busy in 300 years. And more importantly, the thirsty cannot wait that long.
Wrestled with it. Heard from so many of you that said, "Now what?"
And settled that we simply will kick it up a notch...or 300.
We will expand our borders, involve more people...300 times.
And then it won't take 300 years, we can do it in one year.
So here's the plan. Stay with me.
We need 300 people.
300 people to make a committment to 300 Voices...Water for all Seasons. This will be a commitment of $20/month. (that's $5 a week, $240 for the whole year). WFC fund will stay open all year. We get 300 people to commit to $20 a month for 2009 and that's an additional $72,000.(Did you get that? For your $20 a month, combined with 299 others and their $20 a month that is $72,000 in 2009. That's 15 wells!) That's a lot of money. For little sacrifice personally. (as always, 100% of money goes to charity: water. They use 100% to drill fresh water wells and clean water solutions).
But beyond that the idea is to keep water on the hearts and minds of a 300 person team. For where our treasure is, there will our hearts be. So we give all year. We pray. We dream. We plan. And then in November 2009, we kick off Water For Christmas with a team of 300. (Now, you are not committing to anything as far as next years campaign goes...you don't have to do anything. But I think you will want to. But there will be no obligation to be involved in Water For Christmas 2009).
This is how it will work:
water4christmas.com is being developed. And will be ready for launch later in the year.
But for now, go here to sign up. Give us your name and location. We will start of list of people around the country who are committing to Water. (you can do your donations with $5 weekly, or $20 a month, or a $240 donation for the whole year--whatever is best for your budgets). We will not bombard with emails--but if you want monthly or weekly reminders to donate we will do that. If you don't do online giving, and would like to mail in checks, you can still do that by making checks payable to Charity Global with Water For Christmas in the memo line. Please mail checks to: Charity Global-150 Varick St. 5th Floor, New York, NY 10013. We will even send you a set of 12 envelopes if you would prefer to send a monthly donation by mail.
We will have a counter showing how close we are to getting 300 people.
There's a new blog badge for the 300 Voices...use it if you want.
Anyone can join us. Talk about it. Blog about it. I know many of us who participated in WFC 2008 were having a hard time shaking it. A hard time letting it go. So this is for you. But even if you were not a part of WFC at all but would like Water to be one of the things you give to in 2009, you can still join us now.
At this point, all it means is a $20/month commitment. The giving is just to force a us to put action behind our causes. And provide clean water for thousands in the process. And then ideally in November 2009, we have people whose treasure has followed their heart and they are ready to go. We reach 300 times more people with awareness about clean water. The money is multiplied.

And clean water will erupt from the dirt of Africa's floor.
We will be one voice. 300 strong. For clean water. For life.
By signing up you are simply saying, "Water matters." And we believe that enough to give $20 of my treasure each month. For people who live without the many comforts and necessities that are my own. It's that simple.
I want to make it clear that this is merely part of who we are. It's simply part of loving people the way Jesus taught us to. We cannot love thirsty people without giving them water to drink.
I wouldn't do this if I wasn't confident in you guys. I've talked to you on the email, on the blogs, in the churches, at the schools. I've heard the stories of others that I don't know. And I just believe there is a force here. A force we can combine and channel. And use to make big impact.
I'm so excited to partner, to team up. 300 times.
Now there will be resources available and developed throughout the year to help us all at WFC time. But right now, I want to see if we can build a team of 300. Simply 300 people willing to give to Water throughout the year. $20 a month.
So. You want in?
Go. Sign up. We'll add your name to the growing list in the sidebar (it may take up to a day for your name to appear after joining).
(There will be continued updates about all the WFC wells throughout the year. It looks like I may personally be on the ground in Liberia to report back to you about how the Water money is changing and saving lives. And clarify further why we can't stop. Why we must keep it fresh on our hearts and minds. Even if it's only $20/month. Times 300).
------------------------------------------------

kari worked hard on this website to help out.
please consider it.
this is some serious 'dent' we could make.
it's so so simple!! i can hardly stand it.

we can be inspired individuals collectively collaborating to make change.
give up 5 lattes.
give up 1 new t-shirt.
give up anything...
give it up and watch your heart change in ways you'll never imagine.
i guarantee you'll forget about whatever you gave up.
it will haunt you at first...and then the sacrifice will inspire your committment.
it's quite remarkable.

i dare you to let your life be changed by H2O.

brainspace

anybody got any spare brainspace they could lend me??

i've been thinking about A LOT of things...running out of space...not sure what to do about it...

i suppose i could let a few topics spill out here...yep. i think i'll do that...

but please don't hold your breath cuz it may take some time to formulate and i don't want you to die in the meantime :)

until then, as my brother would say, "standby alpha bravo charlie 1" [ok, he doesn't say the second part but sometimes when we're on the phone and he tells me to "standby" in the middle of the conversation, i start wiggling and feel compelled to throw my shoulders back, stubbornly stick my chin out and put a serious expression on my face...weird, i know. don't ask me to explain.]

"Grant that I may not pray alone with the mouth; help me that I may pray from the depths of my heart."

(Martin Luther)

Splendid Saturday.

after 11 hours of sleep, i lazily woke this morning to the muffled light of sunshine straining to get through my blinds. sunshine! i went to bed last night knowing i had the rare opportunity to sleep in as late as i wanted. no rush. no agenda for my saturday. just a day to do whatever i wanted, whenever i wanted.

flipping over a time or two, i dozed in and out of slumber with scenes from Marley and Me replaying in my mind. i eventually leaned over to grab my copy of the book off the shelf beside my bed. flipping to the last chapter, i read once more the emotional ending. it never ceases to amaze me, how much dogs can teach us. admittedly, i am a dog lover. but how could you not be?! their soulful eyes, always full of hope. their innocent love, day in and day out. their unwavering loyalty, even when you get busy and ignore them or they've been punished for misbehaving. and believe me, for a girl that has lots of words in her head, they're the best listeners. they never try to fix your problem-they just listen and let you vent. i just can't get over it...i want to be like that. i do. i want people always to see hope in my eyes. i want to love others in a way that leads me to believe the best about them. i want to be more ears than mouth. something to ruminate on perhaps...

anyway, after cleaning the kitchen and sipping on my 'morning juice' (aka-coffee), i headed out for the day. first to the REI-big, winter clearance sale. i hadn't been there in a while, and i wasn't the least bit surprised to find myself dreaming of all sorts of adventures as i persued the merchandise. i imagined myself skillfully scaling rock faces, skiing down steep mountain slopes, and kayaking out on The Sound...and that was all before i got to the 2nd floor! that place inspires adventure in the deepest, most primal part of my soul.

my grumbling stomach led me down to pioneer square, next. this is, by far, one of my favorite parts of town. it used to be the center of seattle and vintage stone buildings with arched doorways and gorgeous windows line the streets of this neighborhood, boasting of it's history. unfortunately, this is not a very safe place to be at night but during the day, especially a sunny day, it's perfect. my favorite building down there has vines growing up the side of all 6 stories-inside you'll find the Grand Central Bakery -the best tuna melt you'll ever taste. the floor to ceiling windows lining the facade are trimmed out in a cheerful yellow paint while the interior boasts of large ovens, racks of fresh bread loaves, and glass cases of pastries-all set against the backdrop of vintage brick walls and exposed rafter ceilings some 14'-16' above. it's quite charming in every respect.

pioneer square is also well known as the hub for art galleries in seattle. a central walking promenade layed out in brick with adorable lampposts and gorgeous trees is lined on both sides with these enticing displays of talent, and just around the corner from any one of these is another adorable clothing boutique.

the main reason i headed down to that part of town is because i'm a bookworm. that's no secret. but that also means that i usually have a pretty good handle on the bookstores around town and frequent them often. new and used. seattle, as a city, has quite an educated population. we love our books up here...but there is one bookstore that stands out above any of the rest. Elliot Bay Book Company. that store has more nooks and crannies than one could imagine. you could spend a whole week in that store and never get through all the books.

the first of my two favorite spots in that store is the coffeeshop downstairs. you have to climb down a staircase into what feels like a reading cave to get there. wafts of espresso fill the air and old creaky wooden chairs dot the alcoved floorplan; everytime i go there, i see the same group of old, bearded men with stacks of books on their table engaged in a lively debate over who knows what...it's fantastic. my other favorite spot in that place is what they call the 'travel loft'. ooooh, i know you're already dreaming of your next trip just at the mention of those words! let me tell you, it's fatal to go up there. hours and hours of divine indulgence lost in travel essays, gorgeous photo collections and adventure guides will happen. it's just reality, people.

i hadn't planned to purchase anything on this visit but i walked out with two books. i've been meaning to read more about a woman who inspires me: Eleanor Roosevelt. so i snatched her autobiography. and after reading his 2nd memoir, i figured i should read Ferenc Mate's 1st one so i grabbed it, too.

i wandered down the block to Zeitgeist Coffee whose large windows and artsy crowd beckoned me. plunking down at a table with prime people-watching potential, i got lost in a story of Tuscany (Ferenc Mate's book) and all it's romantic glory. swirls of steam, rising from the 8oz vanilla americano sitting on the table in front of me, caught my eye as i occassionally took a respite from combing over the pages of that delicious tale.

despite my best efforts to be alert and awake, like any responsible driver should be, i drove home in a coma of sorts, dually induced by the caffeine and the Vitamin D streaming through my windows. sun on my face feels like such a rare treat up here in the NW that i can't help but turn my chin upward, close my eyes, and will my body to absorb abnormal amounts of it. no, i didn't close my eyes while driving. just while i was walking down the street...fortunately, i didn't run into anybody or anything-that could have been quite painful! ha.

this day was exceptional because not once during the course of this day did i 1) feel even a moment of tiredness NOR 2) wish i was anywhere else but here. (ok, maybe i did wish i was in tuscany for a few seconds...)

it was divine. i hope your day was splendid as well! :)

(p.s. if you made it to the end of this, i applaud you. i have this curse of an affinity for words...well, i suppose it's not a curse but it just means that a lot more comes out than i originally plan. most always. thanks for sticking around!)

finally saw it...

...loved it.

... cried like a baby at the end and used about 1/2 of one of these...
i have to say the book is a MUST READ. it's easy, fast, hilarious and there's lots and lots of fun details that are missing in the movie. a must see nonetheless. :D

plowing troughs

i was struck rather profoundly today by the Parable of the Sower in Luke 8.

it talks about seeds that are sown by a farmer. some on the path-they were trampled. some on the rock-they sprung up but quickly died for lack of moisture/roots. some among thorns-they were choked out. and some on good soil-they produced a full crop.

when i've read/studied this passage in the past, it's always been interpreted that the different soils represent certain attitudes of the heart. after reading it today, i come again to that conclusion. but it comes with a different sort of insight.

i look back on '08, by far the toughest year of my life to date, with mixed feelings. frustration at how difficult things seemed to be. a total sense of being humbled by how little i know of suffering. and an eye-opening realization of how tense the struggle between my flesh and my soul is...it's quite extraordinary how tenaciously each side fights to win.

i also look back and see progress. but not in the conventional sense. i am a fairly independent, adventurous, strong person. i've always been proud of that. always ready for a new challenge. 'do it yourself' type that never wants to be an imposition on others. loathing the concept of being 'high maintenance.'

yet throughout this last year, i've gone from being independent to dependent. strong to weak.and low maintenance to high maintenance. boy, was it painful but i will say this with absolute certainty and conviction. this is the better way to live. in every sense. sweetly broken.

it is in my dependence that i am most fulfilled by a Consuming and Tender Love.

it is in my weakness that an Unchallenged Strength girds me from below.

it is in my 'high maintenance-ness' that i've fallen into a vulnerability and intimacy equal parts terrifying and grace-filled.

i have an insatiable thirst. i long to know the heart of my Savior. i long to know the character of my Lord. i cannot think of a more fulfilling way of life. other than to be dependent, weak and high-maintenance.

that 3rd place where the seeds fell...where no troughs were plowed...may we never be content there. don't get me wrong, i would never sign up for another year like the one i just had BUT if that's what has thrust me closer to the heart of Christ, it was worth it. every heart-wrenching, frustrating, and painful second of it. "to live is Christ, to die is gain."

may we all pray for those troughs to be plowed. so that the Truth may be planted deep within. there's dying that has to take place, just like in the story. sometimes lots of it. but it is only through the 'digging and tilling' that the soil is prepared and ready to support the seed placed there.and then...GROWTH, LIFE, RICHNESS. not a promise of an easy life. but i believe there is a promise for abundance in Christ. i want nothing more.

these women...

...are my favorite! i laugh sometimes to think about our story together...jo and i have known each other since we were 6 years old. sarah and callie came in high school. we definitley liked each other then but i think we like each other more now...in fact, i'm certain of it! this funny thing called 'geographical distance' has actually made our friendships flourish in a ridiculous sort of way. it's hard to understand because normally it does the opposite, but the 4 of us have stayed in touch. we have traveled to see each other in WA, OR, AZ, AR, CO, PA...and we're not done yet! 2 of them are married to amazing men, and we all keep growing beautifully together through each stage. i cannot think of a time in the past 6.5 years that their friendships haven't been crucial to my joy, relationship with Christ, and emotional support. these are some beautiful women. and i love them with my whole heart.
over Christmas we had a 'girl's day' up in denver-SO FUN...we looked through old albums and laughed at the ridiculous fashions we wore (i.e. overalls?! ha); we dreamt of jobs, families, serving together, and travel that is to come...i will grow old and gray with these women by my side. and i'll be a better friend, wife, mom, and child of God because of their lives and love.

-me, callie, joanna, sarah-
-me, joanna, callie, sarah-

oh boy...

...i think i am going to try to make my 1st quilt ever. found these delicious fabrics that i couldn't resist and now i've gone and bought them...

i'm making myself the guinea pig so if it doesn't turn out it's no big deal......wish me luck!

the Wermels 2008

2 of the dearest people in the whole world to me took some time out of their Christmas vacation to shoot our family photos. All photos are credited towards Taylor Sprague Photography. if you like these, click on the link to see more. Taylor and Joanna are the nicest people you'll meet and they are extraordinarily talented!! enjoy. (p.s. this is only a handful of them...there will likely be more popping up as time goes by!)

2009

it's officially 2009. crazy. in the same way that i felt like it would never come, bringing a much-needed fresh slate of perspective, i can't belive it's already here. now what? isn't it the most wonderful feeling to be on the brink of a new year?! with so much potential for change and 'first-time' opportunities and travel and...

i'm late in posting this because i've had a hard time collecting my thoughts. i just spent the last two weeks seeing all of the most important people in my life from CO, PA, NJ, OR, and WA. i am a bit shocked that i'm so blessed to still be in close contact with these dear hearts despite the geographical separation. they are soul food in the most necessary and delightful sort of way.

throughout the vacation, i had recurring moments where my heart swelled inside my chest with feelings of gratefulness, comradery, safety, support, pure joy, delight and peace. those moments were less frequent throughout '08 and i had forgotten, in part, the most simple joy of being in the presence of those you love. nothing glamorous, just simply a glance that communicates a thousand words, one reference to an inside joke that results in tears streaming down your face from laughter, and the silent moments of observation that leave you feeling a bit of disbelief at how beautiful your friends and family have developed to be. it was gripping.

i found myself longing in those moments...whether it was on a mountain town excursion with my bestie from 7th grade or a reunion of my 3 closest highschool friends reminiscing over ugly '90s fashions or family game night where all members of the family were at points arguing their case at the top of their lungs amidst chuckles or ringing in the new year with friends, champagne and food...for a freeze-frame. a snapshot. even a rewind. reveling in every minute, loving the way we are all growing yet wishing that things wouldn't keep changing. my heart was echoing jo's thoughts in Little Women when she pleads with her marmie, "why must things change? why must we all grow up? can't we all just stay the same and together?"

yet my heart longs for change and years for things to continue moving forward. my flashback moments of 'the golden days' are mere pennies compared to things i've experience since then...and i know that what exists now is only a fraction of what awaits. ahead. requiring movement. although it is our tendancy to hold on tenaciously to those 'snapshots', they are the very thing that give us courage and promise of the moments that beckon.

there's nothing worse than stagnation. its paralyzing. granted, not all moments ahead promise ease and comfort and pleasure...yet we have the priviledge to keep moving. we have the priviledge, and i believe duty, to engage. to do our very best to suck the joy out of life. and we often become aware of that joy most profoundly in the simplest of moments. when it feels like 'just life'.

this life is a journey. comprised of snapshots. cherish those but let them spur you on to move confidently and joyfully forward to what awaits. i don't know what is next. you better believe i wish i did...then again, i guess i don't think i do...its in the unknown pursuit that we develop depth as a person; an insatiable thirst for the only One who can quench our spirit; and the honest-to-God realization that we must depend on Another to carry us through. for we cannot do it alone.

2009! go get 'em...